Confession
by binary-express
Summary: Confessions of love aren't exactly easy. Especially when they come second hand from your brother and you barely understand what love even is.


"Balthazar reckons you're in love with me."

The angel's distaste for the boys' determination to save people, people that were never supposed to be born, had been rattling around Dean's mind for the better part of a week. It had resurfaced buried emotion, the not-so-vague infatuation he had overcome. He had thought he had overcome.

Dean hadn't at all known how to bring the topic up with Castiel, opting instead for idle chitchat after having prayed for him. Castiel, confused and almost irritated at the seemingly unimportant summoning, had frowned at him, interrupted before he could point out that he had issues of his own to deal with in Heaven.

The hunter was made uncomfortably aware of the dripping of the cheap showerhead in the bathroom as Castiel stared unblinkingly. When he could hold his gaze no longer, his tongue darted out to lick tentatively at chapped lips and he turned his head to the side, focusing on the empty whisky bottle lain haphazardly on the counter beside him. He shouldn't have drunk it all at once; he sure as hell could have used a drink now.

"Why did he say that?" Castiel replied lowly. As he broke the pregnant silence, Dean glanced back up at perplexed blue eyes. His stomach clenched and he shrugged nonchalantly, unsure of whether the confusion was twined with denial or not. He almost hoped it was; maybe he could forget about said emotion and focus on saving the world from something – anything – again.

"I dunno. Me and Sam wanted his help, but he took the liberty of informing us that he wasn't you and that he didn't care. Said you were in love with me in the process."

His voice caught as he finished, but Castiel didn't seem to notice. He had locked his hands together and walked around to the other side of the table, tearing his gaze from Dean. Then, barely audibly, he murmured, "What does love feel like?"

Taken aback, Dean's mouth dropped a little, wavering as he struggled to form a response. "It-" he began, hesitating as Castiel's eyes flickered back up to meet his own, uncertainty flashing through them. Dean bit his lip, barely recognising the blush creeping up the angel's neck. "It makes you happy. It makes you sad too, I guess. But you trust the person with your life, with everything. And you hate being away from them, you can't stand it. Every time you see them your heart skips and you want to grin like a moron. When they're upset, you are; their pain is yours." He paused gathering his thoughts and shrugging again. "I've heard it feels like you've been touched by an angel."

"Being touched by an angel is not that pleasant, Dean. Certainly not as pleasant as you make love sound," Castiel muttered uncomfortably, stealing a soft smile from the other man.

"That's not what I mean. Besides, it's what people say. It's a son of a bitch to explain." He placed his palms flat against the timber table top, shudders sneaking down his spine at the hint of a smile Castiel gave.

"Humans say strange things," Castiel replied simply before all traces of happiness slipped from his features. "I think... I don't know." He trailed off, leaving Dean's heart hammering against his ribs as utter nervousness flooded through him.

"What do you think, Cas?"

"Balthazar has been on Earth far longer than I have been; he understands human things like… 'love' far better than I do." There was a long pause. "He may be right." He furrowed his brow, quickly adding, "Is that a bad thing?"

Dean's heart didn't slow. His fingers curled against the counter, Castiel's question having caught him off guard. He didn't honestly know the answer; he wasn't exactly an expert. One night stands, yeah, okay, but his relationships never really worked out. And, despite himself, his features darkened with disappointment. Castiel's confession didn't at all banish the weeds of captivation with the angel that had grown within him, as he had hoped it would if he said no. If anything, it made him feel worse; confused, even.

"A little," was all he replied with.


End file.
